Verdict on yet another appalling home performance

Carl Ikeme: Make no mistake, we were appalling tonight. Did not deserve anything out of the game. But up until the opener, Blues were no better at all. It was a shocking match between two shocking teams, and then our goalkeeper gifts them a goal with a piece of play that you wouldn’t have your mate down the park. Appalling. So thanks Carl, you probably cost us that game. And it happens all too often with him. Lucky we gave him a four year deal recently.

Look up “bog standard bottom six Championship keeper” in the hypothetical football dictionary and this is the result.

Conor Coady: It’s inconceivable really how someone can come through the Liverpool Academy and have so little footballing ability. Can’t control, pass or cross a ball whatsoever. Yeah, he’s not really a right back, but as a career midfielder you’d think he would be at least reasonably comfortable in possession (at least in theory, having watched him for 18 months I wouldn’t trust him with the ball any more than I’d trust Scooby Doo in my pantry). An absolute black hole of possession.

Danny Batth: Often you talk about players giving the opposition a headache. Well, Danny certainly gave Ryan Shotton a headache tonight. But only in the literal sense of endlessly booting the ball straight onto his ludicrous dreadlocks. Outmuscled and outdone once by Che Adams despite having a three yard start and about two stone on him. Ordinary at best.

Richard Stearman: Did his usual pashernate flinging himself around and firefighting but in truth, had little to do defensively for most of the game. Looks like he should be able to carry the ball out of defence, can’t actually do it in reality.

Matt Doherty: If you ever want a microcosm of Matt Doherty’s game then just watch the second Blues goal. Out of position to start with, he then ambles a full 30 yards, getting further and further away from the play and then they score. He is never in the right place. He cannot defend. Seriously, his defending is still League of Ireland level, six and a half years since we signed him from the League of Ireland. You could argue that it isn’t his fault that he’s totally shite, you could certainly say it isn’t his fault that he keeps getting picked. The attitude element is all on him and he’s an absolute disgrace. I must have said it two dozen times over the last three years but I’d be delighted if he never played for us again.

Look up “dead eyed fucking prick” in the dictionary and this is the result.

Jack Price: Sometimes he looks kind of neat and tidy and plays a nice little 5-10 yard pass. It’s not enough though, is it. He doesn’t really protect the back four, he never hurts anyone with his passing and he doesn’t get around the park well enough. Nice guy and nice beard but nothing like the level we need.

George Saville: Game totally passed him by and hooked at half time. I think we’ve probably seen enough now, he can never be more than just a bit part player for a low end Championship club at absolute best, there are too many fundamental weaknesses in his game and that just isn’t what we’re after.

Dave Edwards: Same old problem with Dave. If he doesn’t score then he doesn’t do anything. Totally anonymous as a #10 as we all knew would be the case; most teams put their most creatively gifted player in that position, we put one of our least skilled in that respect. Will I ever question his attitude or character, no, but he’s got the same flaws and limitations that he had in 2008. How none of our managers have sussed that out, I don’t know.

Andi Weimann: A curious type of wide player who rarely takes a player on, rarely joins up with the front man and can’t really cross the ball. He looked good for a while for Villa in a genuine 4-3-3 but we don’t play that way (nor can we really, we’ve tried). As a wide man in this system he doesn’t justify a shirt.

Playing like the white Kyel Reid at the moment.

Helder Costa: I’m not really sure why we played him on the wrong side for most of the game (it didn’t really help us out, albeit he created the goal from there); when we did get it to him he did pretty well, as you would expect from one of the best players in the division. We didn’t do it nearly enough, hardly at all in the first half and it was an off day for him set piece wise.

Jon Dadi Bodvarsson: Managed to do what we’ve been waiting nearly 20 years for and got Paul Robinson a red card against Wolves. Otherwise…well, not much. He always tries hard but he is nothing like a target man; he’s not especially good in the air and when he does win it, his flicks are mostly aimless. Goal threat is as good as non-existent.

Nouha Dicko: In one of the few positives of the night, got his goal finally, a smart enough near post run and finish though he was probably marginally offside. Could have had another but put his header too close to Kuszczak. We just have to hope this sets him off on a run of scoring, in truth we were playing too long and too aimlessly for him to do much in general play tonight.

Paul Lambert: That midfield is never going to work unless you’re asking them to do a yard dog job against the likes of Chelsea or Liverpool, we need some footballing ability in there and the absence of Romain Saiss remains baffling. Given that we had all the possession after the red card surely it would have been better to bring on Ben Marshall rather than Coady, we have surely signed him to provide more quality from that area? Was it not worth giving Bright Enobakhare 15 minutes at the end? The Anfield success was based on us getting the ball forward at the first opportunity and breaking and that was great…for that game in isolation. For a month now our defence and midfield seem to have been instructed to just lamp the ball forward first time at every opportunity and it doesn’t work. We simply must start playing more football or we’re in real trouble, there’s no excuse for this style as it isn’t even effective. Get the ball down, pick some proper full backs (or at least better than the two clowns we have there at the moment) and we might have a fighting chance of picking up some points through what looks like a tough March. Don’t and we’re going to be in the bottom three this time next month. Up to you Lambo.


High profile visitors come to Molineux


Our performances in 2017 have been generally of a fairly decent standard but they have only been seen by a minority of Wolves fans – this is only our second home game of the year after a run of six out of seven away games. We now embark on a series of five home fixtures in a row before we hit a further sequence of four out of five on the road. Odd scheduling for sure, let’s blame Brexit for it just to be safe. In the context of our good form, we are coming off the back of our most disappointing result of the calendar year in our defeat at Burton last week and as we now take on what is arguably the best squad in the division, there is much to ponder.

It’s the immigrants’ fault that there’s only been one game at home in six weeks. The bad immigrants though, not the good ones like Mrs Farage.

The team

At Burton, we went with the team that so famously won at Anfield with the exception of the returning Carl Ikeme in place of Harry Burgoyne, but in vastly different circumstances it failed to work out for us. There is a definite question for us to answer in terms of how we set up against moderate opposition, be at home or away; we know that we can play on the break and do it to good effect, but that isn’t a strategy we can employ in every single match. However, given the strength of Saturday’s visitors, this may be an occasion where we can stick to our ‘Plan A’ even if it is a home match – we could possibly be looking at a similar outlook to last month’s game against Aston Villa where we posed the greater threat throughout and fully deserved our win, but didn’t really make much of a concerted attempt to keep possession at any stage and were happy to allow Villa to keep the ball in deep areas. It will be on Tuesday against Wigan where a different approach is going to be required.

Captain Danny Batth was left out last week, the first league match he has missed for reasons other than injury or suspension since May 2013. He has attracted regular criticism over the last year and more, with his natural limitations sadly regularly exposed and many fans feel it is time for him to be eased out of the team. Was last week’s selection the start of this process from Paul Lambert or simply a case of rotating centre halves as we enter a busy period of fixtures between now and the international break next month? Should it be the latter, it will be easier for Lambert to restore him to the team given that we lost when he missed out. Personally, I can see the argument to phase him out in the not too distant future but realistically, none of the other options currently available are that much better than him. Mike Williamson would represent a significant upgrade but he is once again expected to be missing and his chances of earning a new contract are receding more than Jude Law’s hairline.

My New Year’s resolution to not make cracks at Leigh Griffiths’ expense is going well.

There is a choice for Lambert to make at right back; we must assume for now that Ben Marshall has been signed to play there, as he did for much of his final 12 months at Blackburn Rovers including while Lambert himself was manager at Ewood Park. After what we can assume to be some intensive fitness work over the last 10 days or so – shorts wearing, orange faced evangelist Owen Coyle had, in his infinite wisdom, banned Marshall from training with the first team squad while transfer negotiations between the clubs rumbled on – does our new signing come in for Conor Coady who has done a reasonable enough job there over the last couple of months without ever suggesting that he’s a serious long term option? Given what Marshall should be able to offer in terms of an attacking option from that area, it is probably a change worth making.

Presumably Marshall has also adjusted to the culture shock of not having a manager who looks absolutely ridiculous.

We are likely to switch back to our regular 4-2-3-1 shape tomorrow with Dave Edwards pairing up with Jack Price in the deeper central midfield roles. George Saville and Lee Evans failed to make much of an impression at the Pirelli Stadium which is disappointing on their part; both are playing for a future here, opportunities may be limited and they need to step up when they are given a chance. Romain Saiss is back in contention after his exploits in the Africa Cup of Nations for Morocco (where he was deployed at centre half) and it would be good to see him given a run in the team at some stage. Playing as the sole defensive midfielder in Walter Zenga’s hotchpotch of a midfield did him few favours while he has many of the attributes required to play in the formation that we primarily use under Lambert and would also give us something we don’t currently have in terms of his range of passing. Lambert did praise him on occasion when he was in the team through his early weeks so one would hope that he will get his chance eventually, even if it isn’t this weekend.

It was odd that Connor Ronan was an unused substitute last week after he set up two goals at Barnsley and has impressed in all of his outings so far. It may be that Lambert is seeking to protect him at such a young age but given the scale of his talent, it would be preferable to see him play whenever possible. Further forward there is a familiar issue with Nouha Dicko and Jon Dadi Bodvarsson remaining on their respective goalless streaks; there isn’t much else to say there that hasn’t already been said. One or both of them simply must start scoring soon. Joe Mason is set to miss out with a recurrence of his hernia issue and Ivan Cavaleiro is unlikely to be available until late March at the earliest.

Carl Ikeme

Ben Marshall – Danny Batth – Kortney Hause – Matt Doherty

Dave Edwards – Jack Price

Helder Costa – Connor Ronan – Andi Weimann

Jon Dadi Bodvarsson

Subs: Harry Burgoyne, Richard Stearman, Conor Coady, George Saville, Romain Saiss, Bright Enobakhare, Nouha Dicko.

The opposition

To be relegated once with a flawed transfer policy, a seriously odd managerial appointment and a squad that should have had no business being in the bottom three could be considered unfortunate. To do it twice within a decade is worse than careless. This is Mike Ashley’s ownership of Newcastle United; he has control of a massive club who regularly attract crowds in excess of 50,000 and yet like his other businesses, everything is focused around extracting value and turning profit. It’s a model which just doesn’t work in top level football. Ashley is very much a man who knows the cost of everything and the value of nothing; plastering the stadium with crass (fee free) advertising for his own company and failing to ensure that the club is adequately stocked with staff who understand the game means that he will never be held in anything other than contempt by the fans.

The “boycoutt” never really took off, sadly.

Last season’s crazy managerial appointment in Steve McClaren was retained for far too long and the eye-catching capture of Rafa Benitez was made too late – although it should be added that poor results at fellow relegated teams Norwich and Aston Villa came under the Spaniard’s watch. Clearly, the expectation was that Newcastle would make an immediate return to the Premier League, as they did under Chris Hughton in 2009/10. They currently sit in first place, so on the face of it, so far so good. However progress hasn’t necessarily been that straightforward. They have already lost seven league games having only lost on four occasions when they were last at this level. Off the field, while it is true that the club made a sizeable profit on transfers in the summer, most of that was thanks to the sale of Moussa Sissoko to Tottenham right at the end of the window and the lumbering Frenchman is a player most Toon fans would have happily waved off at any price. They have retained some extremely high earners while playing at the lower level – most notably loveable racist Jonjo Shelvey – and spent big on new arrivals. This is another mixed record as Dwight Gayle has been excellent and Matt Ritchie, Isaac Hayden and Ciaran Clark have impressed at times, the likes of Grant Hanley, Matz Sels, Mo Diame, Daryl Murphy, Achraf Lazaar, Christian Atsu and Jesus Gamez have done little to suggest they were worth the sums invested.

Nice header, Grant.

It seemed apparent that Benitez was expecting further funds in the January window – most notably to secure the return of Andros Townsend – but no arrivals were forthcoming and much tension was reported after the home draw against QPR at the end of the month. This seems to have been smoothed over temporarily but the current situation is that there is a manager in situ who is mildly underwhelming given the squad he has and his own profile (he was managing Cristiano Ronaldo and Gareth Bale less than 18 months ago, so taking charge of Grant Hanley and Sammi Ameobi day to day must thrill him intensely), and an owner who doesn’t seem to appreciate the concept of adding to a squad from a position of strength – another lesson not learned as when they finished 5th in the Premier League under Alan Pardew in 2011/12, they proceeded to add Vurnon Anita as their sole signing in the following summer. As promotion campaigns where the team is habitually in the top two go, it’s not altogether plain sailing. Maybe it never is at that club. We know the feeling all too well.

I still say our banner is worse.

That all said, they remain an extremely strong team for this level and will be favourites heading into any match that they play. Benitez has generally favoured a 4-4-1-1 system this season with the resurgent Yoan Gouffran a mainstay on the left of midfield with Ritchie providing a consistent threat from the other side. Gayle has missed the last five games since limping off at Brentford in mid-January and may only be fit for a place on the bench tomorrow; Aleksandar Mitrovic would be likely to deputise if he is missing. Karl Darlow has done well since displacing Selz between the sticks but given our pace and counter-attacking ability, we will doubtless look at the ponderous Paul Dummett as an area of potential weakness that Helder Costa can exploit. A limp 3-0 defeat at Oxford in the Fourth Round of the FA Cup will have done the fringe players at Benitez’s disposal such as Ayoze Perez and Massadio Haidara no favours. As much of a questionable character that he is, much of Newcastle’s play goes through Shelvey who in reality is too good to be playing at this level and it is imperative that we don’t allow him to dictate the game.

Last lineup (vs Derby (H), 4.2.17, W 1-0): Darlow; Yedlin, Hanley, Clark, Dummett; Ritchie, Hayden, Shelvey, Gouffran; Diame; Mitrovic


Top scorers: Dwight Gayle (20), Matt Ritchie (8)

Top assists: Jonjo Shelvey (7), Matt Ritchie (6)

Last meeting

Saturday 17 September 2016: Newcastle 0-2 Wolves

Following on from a 0-4 capitulation at home to Barnsley just four days previously and with Newcastle on a five match winning run, it was fair to say that our hopes were not high going into this one. And yet we produced our most complete performance under Walter Zenga, a stunning victory which gave us all hope that we could still achieve plenty this season. A strong start could have seen us a couple of goals up before Chancel Mbemba headed Bodvarsson’s cross into his own net, and in a portent of what we would see at further length as the season progressed, Helder Costa scored his first league goal for Wolves with a fine effort from 25 yards. Anita was sent off late on for a challenge on Cavaleiro as frustration grew, Newcastle failing to test Carl Ikeme to any great extent; the aftermath of that red card would later become infamous for Shelvey deciding to aim a volley of racist abuse in Saiss’ direction. What a lovely chap.

Also got a penchant for Joey Barton-style fake hardman antics.

I could have made this section about the League Cup meeting on the very next Tuesday, but no-one cares about the League Cup, so there.

Team: Ikeme; Doherty, Iorfa, Batth, Borthwick-Jackson; Saiss, Edwards, Oniangue; Costa (Mason 75), Bodvarsson (Coady 88), Teixeira (Cavaleiro 71). Unused subs: Lonergan, Hause, Saville, Gladon.

Past meetings

2016/17: W 2-0 (A), L 0-2 (A, LC)

2011/12: L 1-2 (H), D 2-2 (A)

2010/11: D 1-1 (H), L 1-4 (A)

2003/4: D 1-1 (H), D 1-1 (A)

2002/3: W 3-2 (H, FAC)


Wolves 1-1 Newcastle (Costa)

We’ve tended to turn up in the big games this season; this will be a huge test and a draw would represent a decent result against a team who for all their failings, should end up winning the league.